You need to make sure that you reach for your own happiness. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t even need to say this. However, the world that we live in is far from perfect, and that means that we have moments where we just don’t get things to connect properly. We get to a point where we really want things to be different…but is it ever?
Is it a point in time where you really get things moving in the right direction? Of course there is. As a gay teen, you need to realize that there’s a world of options waiting for you. You don’t have to sit in silence or in fear, thinking that you’re not worth it. You are absolutely worth it. Why feel like you can’t make anything connect together?
You are worth more than you think, and there’s no reason to assume that you’re not. You just need to want to do more with life than what you have. If you aren’t thinking about getting more out of life right now, there’s no time like the present to start.
What you need to do is start connecting with hobbies that are really going to make you happy. Some people like to draw, others like to paint, and many more like to play music. You’ll find something that works for you, but you do have to look around. The library is a great way to learn about the different stuff that people do as a hobby. I’m not trying to mock you, but maybe you don’t have the same opportunities that other people have. That doesn’t mean that we’re going to make fun of you. Not at all. On the contrary, we would definitely like to see you enjoy the same good time as everyone else. There’s no reason to feel shamed merely because you don’t have the same footing that everyone else has. Of course, it only feels like everyone knows these things. Everyone started out just as clueless as you — they just don’t want to admit it.
You also need to think about trying to get a way to look at what you want to do long term. Are you in a small town? You’re going to want to try to do everything you can to get out of there and towards a city. Even though the cost of living is going to be higher, the reality is that you’re going to have a lot more opportunity than if you’re in a tiny place that has the same beliefs across the board. Once it’s known that you’re gay, you’re not going to have that much time to establish yourself. Most things in a small town are based on relationships, which is why it can be so harmful to come out in a small place. If people feel that you’re suddenly unworthy, they can’t expect you to do anything for them. It’s all about value — the more people value us, the more that they’re willing to actually pay.
Take moments for you. Reflect on what you want to do in life. Dealing with horrible people is going to be a way of life, and I hate to be the one telling you this. Even straight people have bullies. Don’t give in just because you hear that someone doesn’t like that you’re gay. There are going to be quite a few people that don’t like that you’re gay. You can take this in stride, or you can let it tear you apart. Either way, it’s completely and utterly up to you to figure out what you’re going to do with this information.
The more that you work towards a solution, the better your life will honestly be. There’s no need to think that it’s the end of the world at all. The more that you push towards a solution that meets your needs, the more satisfaction you gain.
Do you have friends that you can trust with your deepest secrets? If you don’t have any locally, again, there are plenty of people online that know exactly what you’re going through. Even if you’re in a city, you might still want to make sure that you have money to the things that really matter to you. You don’t want to find that you’re not going to be able to take care of the little things, of course.
The sweetest thing you can do while you’re figuring out your life is be good to people — even if they don’t like you. When you refuse to sink to someone’s mean level, you’re showing that you can be the better person. Don’t do it to try to earn a medal — do it because it’s the right thing to you. If your family doesn’t really care for you based on your sexual preferences, then they aren’t going to be your family when you need them most. It’s really as straightforward as that.
Don’t let your temper lead to making decisions that you’ll forget. If you’re not ready to disown your family and walk away, don’t. Leaving behind a family is very, very, very difficult. If you’re not ready for it, then it’s going to backfire strongly.
You need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and your needs. That’s what finding yourself is all about — the path to a better you, always. Don’t expect to have all of these things figured out overnight, because even adults don’t get it right. Allow yourself room to reinvent yourself over time. It’ll lead you to worlds that you can’t even imagine right now.
I remember when I first came out, my parents were not willing to hear me out. Luckily, I had a little bit of money saved up, and I worked online. I could live with a friend for the summer before I went off to college. It wasn’t something that was easy, but it was a learning experience.
Today, I want you to think about all of the experiences of your life as learning ones. You’ll go a lot farther that way. Good luck!
