In a perfect world, everyone would just accept everyone as they are without all of the commentary and judgment, but it really doesn’t work that way. When you start coming out as a gay teen, there’s one thing that you’re going to have to face head-on, and that’s bullying. You don’t want anyone to bully you, but you also don’t want to run away from bullies. It only makes them feel like you’re going to just take anything that they dish out. You will need to stand up for yourself and be ready to defend yourself if it comes down to it.
Bullies tend to question and challenge anything that they don’t feel comfortable with. You have to remember that it’s really not about you at all. It’s really just about the insecurity that they feel. Many bullies have other things to deal with that they might not be able to visibly show. If you’re growing up in an unstable home, you might reach for power any way that you can get. It’s not fair and it’s certainly not right, but many bullies are bullies because they too are hurting. Having a little compassion for the people picking on you might be hard, but it will help you understand where they’re coming from and possibly why they’re giving you such a hard time.
Just because you understand where a bully is coming from doesn’t mean that you have to necessarily be friend with them. You should never tolerate bullying in any form. If people are giving you a hard time because they know that you’re gay, then you need to get someone else involved, like a teacher or another school official.
That’s what they’re there for. You might feel like you shouldn’t bring it up, because then you’re going to be dealing with the possibility that the teacher is against gays as well. The truth is that whatever they feel personally doesn’t matter. As long as you attend the same school as everyone else, you will need to make sure that you focus on the bigger picture.
Bullying can easily escalate into violence, so it’s important to make sure that you are being taken seriously. If you have to go all the way up to the school board, so be it — there are channels for that.
What about when the school itself is the ones that aren’t supporting you? That’s when you get the outside media involved. There are always local community groups that work with gay teens and bullying problems. Bullying is a problem that affects everyone, but gay teens are especially at risk because many people have an issue with gay life in general.
What you need to do is maintain your own self confidence. There are so many different feelings going on right now, especially as you come out. If you have people that already love you and support you as a gay teen, hold onto them! This is going to be a very hard time for you but as long as you have your friends and family around you, there’s nothing that you can’t move past eventually! Good luck out there!
